SHE GEEKS: The 100.

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a SHE GEEKS despite the fact that my life is basically SHE GEEKS. (Speaking of, I really need to get around to finishing up my Outlander recaps. How have I not posted anything about it since October? How is it already January? Shit.) Seriously. That’s all I do. Eat, sleep, write, and geek. I am Voldemort, ripping my soul into a million tiny pieces, except not through murder but fandoms.

I need help. No. Seriously. Send help.

But I started watching, which quickly turned into BINGING THE FUCK OUT OF, CW’s show The 100. Has anyone watched this? Why is everyone not watching this? Omg, y’all. So good. So so good. Angsty and stressful, but so good. And I jotted down notes! And it’s kinda recap! Which really means I just cried a lot over Raven and Bellamy being perfect people doing perfect people things.

Turn back now if you want to avoid, like, an obscene amount of spoilers and/or scream-y, fangirl caps. Because I had a lot of thoughts, y’all, and I like to channel Thor when I express them.

Thoughts I had while watching the 100:


SEASON ONE:

SPACE. THE FINAL FRONTIER. LAND OF DYSTOPIA AND EXPOSITION AND JAILED ARTISTS. Did this blonde lass get jailed for drawing on everything or…?

Guards are busting in on her, probably to take her pencils away. I MEAN HONESTLY, GIRLFRIEND. SOMEONE IS GONNA HAVE TO USE THIS CELL AFTER YOU’RE EXECUTED. YOU THINK WE’RE ROLLING IN SPACE BLEACH UP HERE? SHEESH.

Oh. Here’s her — mom? Maybe?

It’s her mom. Who is clearly awful at comforting anyone. “Clarke! Everything is fine! Stop flipping out about a fucking watch we’re sending you to earth even though you just got done expositioning at us that Earth isn’t even inhabitable! God. Hug me so you can be shot up with this drug because I can’t even talk to you right now.”

Are they sending these kids with any kind of supplies? Not even a little space bleach?

OH. DRAMATIC TENSION ALREADY. “You got my dad floated, motherfucker! How dare you get yourself arrested to be with me like I’m doing something dangerous like going to a radiation soaked planet. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU CARE.”

Calling it now. Wells, her bestie, who she TOTALLY HATES OKAY, is gonna be redeemed.

This not-guard is gonna be bad news.

But he’s so pretty. And his baby sister is gorgeous.

Everyone wears super awesome boots.

I want to be mad that they’re playing “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons as Octavia steps off the drop ship onto Earth for the first time but, I mean, I love this song and it is kinda perfect.

In space, you learn super awesome skills there’s really no way for you to learn like tracking. And swimming.

Space has really great dental plan. Look at all their teeth. So shiny and nice.

NO BODY HAIR. No one has body hair!

OR FACIAL HAIR. How are these kids shaving?

Oh. This is a CW show. Of course they don’t. It’s a fact that CW shows defy logic and reason in order to be hairless.

Classism still alive and well, even in space. But not racism? Maybe also racism. Since most of the POC are extras who don’t get actual names and only enough screen time to be vaguely represented.

Wells is gonna die. Nobody gets a redemption this quickly unless they’re about to buy the farm.

NO SERIOUSLY. HOW DID FINN LEARN HOW TO TRACK? IN SPACE?

Wells is dead. Called it.

Clothes made in space are obviously well-crafted because these kids have been wearing the same ones for a whole season and they’re in suprisingly good shape.

Everyone’s boots are so awesome.

Where do they get the material for all of these things, though? Do they have cows and spiders and shit on the ark? Cotton fields? Surely this isn’t a product of a redistribution center? Wouldn’t they have fallen apart in the 97 years?

Octavia is surprisingly socially adept for someone who lived under a floor for most of her life. Like, better than I am and I did not live under a floor most of my life. And horny. Homsgirl is ready to bone anything that moves. Can’t even blame her for that. GET SOME, GIRL.

Considering all these nations have lived together for so long in space, there seems to be a real lack of interracial relationships.

Why wasn’t Bellamy’s mom on birth control? This seemed preventable. You can hardly impose a one kid rule if you’re not gonna, you know, help stop more kids from happening.

I’m very glad they didn’t stop Octavia from happening because she brings a certain flair to this show. Mostly horniess, at this point. But still. I EXPECT GREAT THINGS FROM YOU, OCTAVIA. And your brother. Who is a bit (a lot) of an ass but SMOKING HOT.

Oh God. How old is Bellamy in real life anyway? This could be creepy of me.

He’s 30. We’re good.

Do caves and cars and shit really protect against radioactive fog and shit? That science feels sketchy.

How does CW always end up with, like, the best soundtracks?

Love triangles. Why always with the love triangles? Aren’t there more important things to do than to get caught up in pointless drama? YEAH. HI, RAVEN, FINN, AND CLARKE. TRYING TO SURVIVE DOWN HERE? MAYBE LET’S NOT, OKAY?

Besides Finn is stupid. Hate Finn. Hate his stupid “Spacewalker” nickname. Hate his stupid hair.

Raven is perfect, though. Why is Raven so perfect?

How do all the grounders know English? Is it simply off location? Are there grounders in Africa speaking the local language?

I hope Lincoln and Octavia get together. Star-crossed lovers! YES.

This show is gutting me. SO MANY DEATHS. They go hard.

This might be the only show I know of that has threatened a culling since the first episode, followed through with it, and JUST KILLED A SHIP FULL OF PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE.

Torture keeps happening. Throw space kids on earth and they’ll get a little Lord of the Flies. It’s inevitable.

People scare me.

Lincoln is perfect too. Ilu, Lincoln. I don’t blame you for wanting Finn to die. Look at him. He’s stupid.

Pretty sure I ship Bellamy and Clarke.

Go away, Finn. I hate you. Your hair is ridiculous.

Raven, you’re too good for Finn. Leave him for literally anyone else. But Bellamy. I’m busy shipping him with Clarke.

Everyone is bleeding from their face. Literally just pouring blood from every orifice.

Murphy brought it in. From the Grounders. Of course he did. Fucking Murphy.

The Grounders are attacking and everyone is bleeding from their face. INCLUDING BELLAMY. MY PRECIOUS SWEET BABY WHO IS FIRMLY ON HIS WAY TO BEING REDEEMED AS A CHARACTER.

Oh, God. Wells was redeemed too and look what happened there.

We’re gonna blow up a bridge though and Raven is gonna do it because she’s badass and I love her so much.

She’s got blood eye disease. 😦 but still blew up the bridge. RAVEN YOU’RE SO SPECIAL TO ME.

Oh. You’re dumping Finn. Thatta girl, Raven. You’re so perfect.

Is there fanfiction for this, I wonder?

There is. A lot of fanfiction.

MURPHY WHY WON’T YOU DIE.

Look at Bellamy growing up and becoming an anti-hero. LOVE YOUR PERFECT FACE, BELLAMY. PLEASE DON’T DIE.

He’s not gonna die. He’s in the credits.

Wait. Was Wells in the credits? Shit.

MURPHY. YOU SHOT RAVEN. YOU BASTARD.

No one lost ANY weight on Earth? I guess they were all pretty skinny to begin with but still. These kids are eating good for HAVING NO REAL SKILLS. This probably isn’t the time to think about this.

“We’re gonna use the ark to crash land on earth most of you are gonna die it’s whatever! All the main characters will live though so your death will not be in vain.” Jaha, your plans are kinda terrible. You’re a horrible space leader. But you were gonna be culled with your people and made me cry so as you were.

Jaha is staying behind. Of course he is. We’re not gonna end this season without gutting me one more time.

I really don’t care about what’s happening in space when shit is so busy getting real on Earth right now.

“We have to leave! We have to stay! AW, SHIT. GROUNDERS JUST SHOT SOMEONE. WE’RE STAYING.”

Raven is gonna burn everyone with the dropship because she’s perfect.

Jasper has to help because Raven IS SLOWLY BECOMING PARALYZED NO, BB. DON’T DIE.

Ark has landed. Shit is real. RAVEN ARE YOU OKAY. Bellamy and Finn might be dead (SERIOUSLY WAS WELLS IN THE CREDITS? I MIGHT BE OKAY WITH FINN BEING DEAD.) MOUNTAIN MEN.

Scary white room that is obviously technologically advanced and has Van Gogh on the wall. This is gonna be bad.

MONTY. HI, MONTY. I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE OKAY.

Mount Weather. I KNOW WHAT SEASON TWO IS GONNA BE ABOUT.

Seriously, Bellamy? Are you okay? Where are you, my precious?

 

SEASON TWO:

Van Gogh always signifies a modern society. Not that I disagree because I love Van Gogh but why?

You know, it’s worth noting that before Doctor Who, I appreciated Van Gogh but now I love him.

Clarke has turned into Bellamy. So, I mean, that’s cool. Go on, Princess. Take that hostage! Embrace your inner Bellamy!

BUT WHERE IS BELLAMY.

WHY WON’T MURPHY DIE. STAY AWAY FROM MY RAVEN WHO IS SO ALIVE AND STILL PERFECT. No one cares about your tragic backstory. (Okay. Maybe I do a little.)

Mount Weather: super high-tech facility that survived nuclear warfare. Wants you to dress like a Stepford.

The president is up to no good. The presidents are always up to no good. It’s a rule. If there’s a president, s/he will be up to No Good.

BELLAMY. THERE YOU ARE MY HONEY.

It’s always a given if you don’t know an extra’s name they are for sure gonna die. Or betray. Or be useless. Not that I even blame them here because the objective is save Finn. BELLAMY, LEAVE HIM. We have to find Clarke! WE’RE BUILDING A SHIP HERE.

Will starcrossed lovers ever not work for me? Octavia + Lincoln = 5eva.

Monty is almost too good for this show.

Will tragic back stories ever not work for me?

Bellamy and Finn would be cute together. That might be the only way I could tolerate Finn.

There’s absolutely no gay couples on this show either. Maybe soft lesbianism if you count the threesome with Bellamy in season one?

Are they gonna take a million years to unite with the people in Mount Weather?

Seriously. This president is gonna be bad news. WHEN ARE THEY EVER NOT BAD NEWS? (Okay. Jaha ended up being okay-ish. But the councilwoman who took Abby’s spot? NOT OKAY. It’s basically a rule. Leaders are almost always bad.)

I want Bellamy and Clarke together so badly I could cry. They’d make such a lovely hate-filled couple making horrible decisions together.

Clarke has like no friends at Mount Weather because she really never talked to anyone but the people listed in the credits. All the extras are having a party and she’s like, “ho-hum. Never did get around to actually saying a word to you. This is awkward.”

I resent that Marcus turned out okay because I believed something so different about him. Also will Jaha ever not break my heart? He wasn’t supposed to be an okay-ish guy.

Seriously. How is Murphy still alive?

There’s a lot of moral ambiguity in this show. I like it.

ANOTHER BABY? Jaha just found ANOTHER baby? Honestly why weren’t they forcing birth control if this was such an issue?

He’s gonna go to Earth for this baby’s sake, isn’t he?

Yep. Riding a missile. This feels like a solid plan that absolutely can’t go wrong even a little bit.

Why do Grounders like crucifying people so much?

Marcus is gonna go back to being kinda dickish, isn’t he?

GROUNDER OPIE! This healer is now gonna forever be called Grounder Opie.

Octavia has developed into quite a badass.

This show is such a major source of stress to me.

Jaha didn’t even find a baby, he found a metaphor and honestly this show has no problem emotionally gutting me. ALSO WELLS. BABY. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT WE HAD UNTIL YOU WERE GONE.

MOUNT WEATHER IS FUCKED. THEY ARE USING GROUNDERS FOR THEIR BLOOD.

I would be Anya’s friend. I would be her best friend. I don’t even care that she’s incredibly bloodthirsty. She’s smoking hot and a badass. BESTIES FOR LIFE, ANYA.

I keep laughing because the name of this episode is “REAPERcussions.” That’s hysterical to me.

Give Kaine an iota of power and he instantly reverts back into a penis.

Jasper has really nice lips.

I like that Kane stopped Bellamy from beating Murphy in another episode because “We’re not animals” AND YET HE’S PUBLICLY PUNISHING HIS PEOPLE. WITH SPACE ELECTRICITY STICKS.

Octavia is the only one getting super greasy at this point. Everyone else is just half-assed greasy. They haven’t committed to the grease.

Raven isn’t greasy because she’s so perfect.

In a shocking role reversal: Finn now doesn’t give two fucks about human life rather than Bellamy.

WHY WILL MURPHY NOT DIE.

In space they build badasses like Raven.

Every time an extra does something stupid you know they’re going to die because they never earned a name.

Every time a POC comes on screen I find myself praying they don’t die because there’s a lot of white people on this show.

Is it “on” or “in” a show?

I’m gonna ship Raven and this Stiffler kid (Wick? REALLY?) So hard.

I’m basically shipping everything that moves at this point. Except for Finn. I ship Finn and another knife to the gut.

ONCE AGAIN THIS SHOW CAUSES ME A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF STRESS.

I wonder what was gonna happen with the fog?

So much of this show is someone beating up someone and someone else stopping that someone.

THE PRESIDENT ISN’T BAD, THE SON IS. Man. This show is a roller-coaster.

In a shocking turn of events – Finn is a psycho now.

Abby is apparently not just a medic but a magician because despite Raven being paralyzed in one leg, she’s walking absolutely fine. Granted with this brace Wick made her. Please tell me the power of potential love didn’t save her.

Jaha has turned into a mystical black man. Just laying around in grounder prisons. Dropping some mystical words. Crashing in the desert because you found a metaphor really changes a man.

But what do girls do on their period?? Do they fashion a tampon out of moss?

God what if they picked the wrong thing and made, like, a poison ivy tampon?

Did Monty help them make tampons, I wonder? Did he, like, go on a hunt for the best moss to fashion plugs with? How did they approach him for this job, I wonder? “Sup, Plant Guy. Need some feminine products. Please work on this so we’re not bleeding everywhere. Also moar moonshine please.”

I just had an epiphany about why we romanticise unromantic behavior like Finn’s PSYCHOLOGICAL BREAK THAT LED TO GROUNDER OPIE’S VILLAGE BEING SLAUGHTERED but I’ve already forgot it.

Oh. Wait. I remember. Because it’s so hard to wrap our heads around the idea that this person we love is a COMPLETE PSYCHO, we cope by thinking, “he loves me so much he WENT psycho.” Like, I’m sitting here as an outsider yelling at Clarke to stab him because he’s craaaaazy, but if I put myself in her shoes, with Betty in Finn’s, it’s a lot harder to snarl. What would I do? Would my moral compass swing funny in that situation trying to justify it because I couldn’t face the facts that my guy is a FUCKING PSYCHOTIC KILLER? Maybe.

How do tents work against acid fog?

So is Raven just a general whiz kid like Monty and Jasper are just regular science whizzes? How does this shit work?

STOP KILLING POC THERE A LOT OF WHITE PEOPLE ON THIS SHOW.

LINCOLN IS A REAPER? LINCOLN. BB. WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU, MY SWEET PRINCE?

Marcus slits his wrist for peace. Fucking a. Calm down, son.

FEMALE COMMANDER OF THE GROUNDERS FUCK YEAH. Also smoking hot. FUCK YEAH.

If they kill Monty I RIOT.

What is this magical brace of Raven’s though? This science is sketchy. (Is it LOVE Science?)

I thought the message was for blood to be shed for the blood that was shed? What’s this getting out of here noise Jaha is talking?

Now we have TWO brown woman antagonists. The grounder one and the Mountain Men one. Nice. (Not nice. So not nice. There’s enough spare white people on this show. MAKE ONE OF THEM THE BADDIE. Motherfuck.)

Crowd in the back is shouting to give them Finn because they’re as dedicated to Bellamy and Clarke as I am.

How did Lincoln shave?

It’s hard to keep up with notes when you’re busy with your hand over your mouth.

And shipping Bellamy and Clarke. CAN THIS HAPPEN ALREADY? SHEESH.

WE IMPRISONED JAHA BECAUSE HE’S A MYSTICAL BLACK MAN NOW, KAINE. Also Abby learned from you. Give her an iota of power, she becomes a penis.

FREE JAHA 2015.

My subtitles cannot decide how Kane’s name is spelled, therefore I cannot decide how Kaine’s name is spelled. I could look this up. I could. But I won’t.

I thought that one kid in season one was named Adam and subtitles were fucking up. Nope. It was Atom. Maybe Kane’s name changes from episode to episode?

Raven wants to turn Murphy over to the grounders in exchange for Finn. Shit, Raven. Where were you a few episodes ago when I was petitioning to get him killed?

SEND THEM BOTH.

Finn’s gonna sacrifice himself. Bout damn time. Psycho. Take Murphy with you. I know we’re working hard to redeem him at this point, but I’m not buying what either of you are selling. BUDDY SYSTEM INTO DEATH.

Raven. You’re too perfect for Finn don’t petition Clarke to stab the Grounder Commander. She’d get killed and then her and Bellamy can’t be together.

CLARKE DON’T YOU DARE. I AM BUSY SHIPPING YOU HERE. God. Why am I more dedicated to this ship than you are?

SHE STABBED FINN SHE STABBED FINN YAY YAY YAY.

Man. I have to wait forever for the new episodes now.

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…….There is a lot of fanfiction.

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